I heard it again the other day, "Oh, you'll change your mind..." This was in response to my commenting on how I did not plan to be at my current jobs in a few years in hopes that I would be home caring for babies. I have heard this flippant comment from so many.
Why? Why would I chose to trust someone else to rear my children rather than do it for myself? Why would I put my child in a daycare center after so many years of wanting children to care for myself? Why would I spend money to do something I can do on my own? Why would I go back to work where I cannot control my environment or chose the people I am around all day? Why would I leave my baby to the care of someone I don't know and may not be able to trust? Why would I wait nearly eight years to have children, only to hand them over to a stranger when they're six weeks old?
The best person to care for my children is me and/or my husband. Outside of that only trusted relatives and close friends are allowed to care for my child(ren) in my absence. I know what is best for my child, they are my responsibility and that of no one else. The Bible charges me and my husband with how our children turn out, not my parents, not my in-laws, not Kimmy Teenager from down the hall, and not psychotic, lazy, state funded daycare teacher lady. No way, my child is my responsibility, from birth to college, that child is mine.
The other instance where I have been told, "Oh, you'll change you r mind..." is when I tell people I would like to have a natural child birth; no drugs, no one telling me what to do. My response to this is, Bugger off. I don't like pharmasutical companies (or their products) and medical people telling me that I don't know my body or what to do. America is the only developed country in the world where more than 95% of births take place in hospitals, and our infant mortality rate is higher than all those other developed counrties combined. I will probably have my children at a hospital, (if I can't go to a birthing center), but I will have a birth plan to let the staff know what I expect. I have a high tolerance for pain, and I want to feel everything to remind me that all the pain is woth the end result. I am a bull headed cuss, and I will do things my way.
I live next to a hospital, and I work there. Nothing says I have to rush right over as soon as I think the baby is comming. If my husband isn't home, I could see myself doing it on my own here at home.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
"It'll be different when they're your own kids..."
These word ring in my ears on a regular basis and I hate them. Why? Why would unacceptable behavior suddenly become more acceptable because it is my own children? Why would whining, screaming, crying, tantrums, and disobedience annoy me less coming from my children? My mother didn't accept it from us, why should I accept it from my children.
I believe in training with a switch, Biblical chastisement, homeschooling, healthy snacks and meals, and structured schedules. I expect that when I read in the Bible what good children should be when parented properly that I can get the results that the Bible describes. From the description of parenting from most parents, I wonder why they even have children at all? And if they have more than one, why? unless by accident.
The song "What's the Matter with Kids these Days?" always irks me. The matter with children is lack of training from lazy parents. Children are allowed to be the way they become, and people call it normal. I can't accept that.
How is it easier to allow the child to run the home? How is that any way to live for anyone? How is it easier to tolerate disobedience and foster selfcenteredness? Why would I want to do what is easier for me and not do what is beast for my child, my family as a whole, and the rest of society?
What is so impossible about expecting first time and cheerful obedience from a two or three year old? Why should I reward my fussy baby with attention? Why should I have to put all of my nice things away for fear that my children will break them?
I accept that I am idealistic, but my ideals are based on what the Bible says is possible. I believe that there are women out there who display the characteristics described in Proverbs 31. I myself may not have achieved such a feet, but I strive for it daily. If women can accomplish what it is to be a Godly wife and men can accomplish what it means to be a Godly husband, then how does logic serve that these godly husbands and wives would have spoiled and disobedient children? My brain cannot be wrapped around this concept.
I am not perfect and I do not fancy myself all knowing or wise, but I have seen the results of good parenting, rare as it may be. I know that it can be done. I have read books, heard testimony, seen the results of what children can be if the parents take the time and effort to train, teach, and discipline their children properly.
Parenting is one of the most difficult assignments God had given humans and I don't think people take it as seriously as they should. teaching new people to be people is hard. As someone without children and who wants four of them, the prospect of that kind of responsibility is frankly quite terrifying. I pray that I have the strength of character it takes to rear up Godly children. But it is something I know I can do.
I believe in training with a switch, Biblical chastisement, homeschooling, healthy snacks and meals, and structured schedules. I expect that when I read in the Bible what good children should be when parented properly that I can get the results that the Bible describes. From the description of parenting from most parents, I wonder why they even have children at all? And if they have more than one, why? unless by accident.
The song "What's the Matter with Kids these Days?" always irks me. The matter with children is lack of training from lazy parents. Children are allowed to be the way they become, and people call it normal. I can't accept that.
How is it easier to allow the child to run the home? How is that any way to live for anyone? How is it easier to tolerate disobedience and foster selfcenteredness? Why would I want to do what is easier for me and not do what is beast for my child, my family as a whole, and the rest of society?
What is so impossible about expecting first time and cheerful obedience from a two or three year old? Why should I reward my fussy baby with attention? Why should I have to put all of my nice things away for fear that my children will break them?
I accept that I am idealistic, but my ideals are based on what the Bible says is possible. I believe that there are women out there who display the characteristics described in Proverbs 31. I myself may not have achieved such a feet, but I strive for it daily. If women can accomplish what it is to be a Godly wife and men can accomplish what it means to be a Godly husband, then how does logic serve that these godly husbands and wives would have spoiled and disobedient children? My brain cannot be wrapped around this concept.
I am not perfect and I do not fancy myself all knowing or wise, but I have seen the results of good parenting, rare as it may be. I know that it can be done. I have read books, heard testimony, seen the results of what children can be if the parents take the time and effort to train, teach, and discipline their children properly.
Parenting is one of the most difficult assignments God had given humans and I don't think people take it as seriously as they should. teaching new people to be people is hard. As someone without children and who wants four of them, the prospect of that kind of responsibility is frankly quite terrifying. I pray that I have the strength of character it takes to rear up Godly children. But it is something I know I can do.
"That's just the way it is..."
I heard these words a lot when I was a teen, from my step dad. I hated it. There was no explanation, no alternatives, no thinking outside the box. There was only one perspective to see things from and nothing else was ever considered. Now I am very nearly thirty years old and I am hearing it again.
Why? Why are things the way they are? Why can't they change? Why must I conform to what they tell me is true? Why can't i do things differently? Why should I accept another persons para digm as my own when I can see things differently from them?
Are they afraid that I might do better than they? The problem is that the contradict one another. I receive encouragement from one small group of people and extreme discouragement from the rest of the world.
My world view is different, I want to do things differently. I have never been a proponent of normal. For example on my wedding day: I went to McDonald's for breakfast; we had the reception before the ceremony, a lunch of Subway sandwiches; and cake, ice cream, and gifts afterward. Everything was done by 4p.m. And the night before, at our rehearsal dinner, we had pizza and soda at the church.
So you see, I am not one for doing what everyone else does. I may be a sheep in many other ways, but I am willing to go another route even when the rest of the flock says, "that's baaad."
Why? Why are things the way they are? Why can't they change? Why must I conform to what they tell me is true? Why can't i do things differently? Why should I accept another persons para digm as my own when I can see things differently from them?
Are they afraid that I might do better than they? The problem is that the contradict one another. I receive encouragement from one small group of people and extreme discouragement from the rest of the world.
My world view is different, I want to do things differently. I have never been a proponent of normal. For example on my wedding day: I went to McDonald's for breakfast; we had the reception before the ceremony, a lunch of Subway sandwiches; and cake, ice cream, and gifts afterward. Everything was done by 4p.m. And the night before, at our rehearsal dinner, we had pizza and soda at the church.
So you see, I am not one for doing what everyone else does. I may be a sheep in many other ways, but I am willing to go another route even when the rest of the flock says, "that's baaad."
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