Put a bag over your head

One day a few years back, I was rather ill and not looking the best. I may be poor, but I do take a bit of pride in looking presentable , even in the privacy of my own home. I asked my husband to go get the mail, a task I enjoy doing myself, and he asked me why I didn't want to do it myself. I told him that there was a man working on the new forced air system in the entry way, and I knew that I did not look my best, being sick and all. He jokingly said, "put a bag over your head."
(And just for the record he did go get the mail for me, and yes we do regularly joke with one another like that. We respect each other enough to never say anything that harsh to the other in a serious manner, ever.)

Now most women would have a fit if their husband said this to them, under any circumstances. I laughed. My husband knows how important it is to me to look well and he understood my insecurity in being seen in that state by this perfect stranger. He was, as we call it "speaking the truth in love." I know my husband loves me more than anything, and he is willing to tell me the truth even if he knows it may hurt a bit at first. I do the same for him. We are very open in our communication and careful to convey thoughts in a way that the other will understand. We rarely fight any more, we discuss. We don't bring up past issues, we don't say things purposely to hurt one another, and we are careful when broaching subjects that have in the past been rather painful. We don't like being angry with each other and we are careful to make sure that the other understands what we meant by what we said.

More recently my husband, carefully, told me that it might be better for me to get my hair cut shorter rather than growing it out. His reason was that a shorter cut would frame and thin out my face, as it was I was beginning to look a bit chubby. I thanked him and got my hair cut a few days later. This is another example of him knowing that I want to look my best and making a suggestion as to a way to go about it. I appreciated his input and the fact that he loved me enough to bring this issue to my attention. At the salon, getting my hair cut, I did notice slowly as she cut how much thinner my face began to look. Now I have a cut that frames and thins down my ever chubby cheeks.

You see, I would rather hear the truth from my husband who loves me and only wants the best for me than to hear someones opinion who is just being rude and does not care a bit for my feelings. I would rather have people be honest to my face and risk hurting me. I don't like to be flattered, then have that same person say terrible things behind my back or think poorly of me.